Birthday

So, it was my birthday and I got some NEW stuff. I requested sunglasses because after looking a few thrift stores didn't find any. I received two pairs from my brother (with a gift receipt.) The gift receipt was pretty exciting because that meant I could return one pair and had 7.99 to spend on ANYTHING in target NEW?! I was so excited. I ended up with a new sports bra. The next week I lost the sunglasses. SO,I creatively used an H and M card to get another pair as well as some new clothes. All of the buying made me feel very spoiled and it was fun to shop.

I bought something very new and it's barely February

Last week I was diagnosed with frostbite. It seems my raynauds disease (bad circulation) is getting worse every year. I was only outside for 5 (long)blocks and cried when I made it back to the car. I decided to go to my doctor to make a plan for not only this episode of damage, but long term. Dr. Obvious told me to buy a good pair of boots, after of course asking what I did for a living. Yes, I am a PA and no I don't own a good pair of boots and yes I have raynaud's. I guess I just never felt they were worth the investment because I don't spend any amount of time outside in the winter. And I don't like the inconvenience of changing shoes, etc. So, I agree to take some new meds, consider complimentary medicine ideas and to buy a good pair of boots. I first went to ebay. I wasn't about to break my resolution so early on in the year! I found several pairs of boots, all second hand for around 50 bucks. But as I tried to check out it felt like I was letting my decision to buy nothing new be a principle that trumphed all. Buying used boots probably meant on Jan 1 of 2015 I would invest in the pair that would really last and be super warm. Why do this just to entertain my self imposed "rule"? (and probably waste more money in the long run.) The other part of me thought of how I hate excuses. I am a fairly determined person and believe in sticking to our goals and commitments. Yea, sure I can summon some pity for my purple toes and act like I can't not buy boots. Ulitmatley, I got on zappos and bought the 90 dollar boots that will last me at least 10 years, good to -40 F, and don't look half bad. Was this out of instinct of my old ways? But no longer did this seem as instinctual as it once was. I am not a guilty person, I don't feel guilty. But it does make me feel a bit like my resolution is just a game and I can leave it at any time if I have to. I also feel less motivated now that I "broke" the rule to continue. I mean really, I can't make any great claims at the end of the year now. I wore the boots around the house yesterday, to be sure they fit. And still considered using the free zappos return policy. But alas, we woke to yet another winter storm today and out into the slush I went dirting the boot bottoms past the point of return. I trudged to the train, resolution shattered, feet happily clad cozily in their new nests of warmth.Not only are they warm, but waterproof too. I feel extravagantly rich and powerful. I feel humbled too, to be true to my feet and my heart.

What I have bought new. . .

January: birthday candle (not sure if this is considered a usable good or not) February: Big fat expensive NEW warm boots March: a paintbrush for preparing house to sell June: dress shoes for girls for wedding, returned one pair July: A lawn mower, weed eater, garden scissors, paint and paintbrushes (Fell off the wagon with the new house!!) August: Chalk for a bday gift for Miriam September: New school shoes for Nori (after going to 5!!! thrift stores) In October I bought: A shovel for our yard renovation Nails to hang pictures Hot Shot Ball Cap Bath toy for gift

One month in. . .

. . . and I am loving having this gentle boundary on my life! It is not an overriding part of my life, but pops up now and then. Nori started dance class and needed a specific outfit, including pink tights. So, I ventured to a few thrift stores and then ended up at a play date with a friend who had a few pairs to pass on! Usually I would have simply ordered the 5 dollar pair online. But this way, I had time to check in with a friend as well as an outing to the thrift store. The other kids have cuter leotards (and I kind of want this for her) but I think she is okay with her second hand ones. After all the buying of christmas, it feels like a nice healthy fast to not shop or even think of shopping.Maybe this will change as the year goes on. A few fun things happened: to make Nori's banner for her birthday we used leftover paper and ribbon and it turned out great. I would have bought new usually. It feels good to look around to see what we can use. I also made a mobile for a friend and rummaged through my fabric scraps instead of buying new. I also had to borrow stuffing from a friend, but she seemed happy to share. I needed wire for it that I didn't have, which meant dismantling the christmas wreath in the trash can to find some. Better than it ending up in the landfill:) I spent an hour scrubbing our bath (no slip) mat to try to get the mold out. I didn't make much of a difference. So not sure what to do about that. It's a freeing commitment so far that keeps me focused on what matters. At Target I don't feel the "obligation" to look thru the sale rack "just in case." And I don't fuss about bringing extravagant gifts to bdays and baby showers. We have so much second hand stuff to share, just hope everyone else is okay with that! Yesterday, we were snowed in. Nori and I started to write and illustrate a book that I was thinking we could copy and give as gifts as well. Here is to more present-ness, less stuff and less time spent in stores!

I decided last night. . .

. . .that I am going to attempt to buy nothing new in 2014. This idea started a few weeks ago when NPR was doing a series on "where our clothes come from." A Columbian woman was speaking of how she cherished her few-dollars-a-day job in a Hanes sweat shop. Soon this plant was going to close, the woman was aware, because Hanes could find labor even cheaper in Asia. I am a middle class American. I have wiggled a little bit from the top of the middle-middle class to the to the bottom of the top-middle. But let's face it, by the world's standards I am rich. I am among the top 10% that use 90% of the world's resources. At the same time, I have lived and am influenced the life of the Catholic Worker. We attempt to live simply. We set boundaries to attempt to use less resources. Yet I by no means live radically. By my friends and families standards, I may be considered a little thrifty. Speaking of thrift, I love thrift stores. If I do shop at a regular clothes store, ie Gap, I head straight for the sale rack and have fun seeing if I can find something cheap. I really have a blast at Marshalls. I love groupons, and redeeming silly deals and usually make out pretty well. But still, I realized, as I was listening to this woman on NPR, I contribute to her poverty. I feel partly stuck in our culture. It wasn't my fault I was born into the wealthiest country in the world. Yet, I wonder at the pearly gates how am I gonna feel? I envision a sea of eyes of the people that lived on earth in poverty looking at me and asking, "didn't you realize we were hungry?" Sure, I do, but I am not and that leaves me with time and energy for the decadence of wealth: shopping. Sometimes I buy new things out of convenience, who wants to scrub the mold (again) off my nalgene when a new one is 8 bucks. Most of these purchases are balanced by both perspectives:of those with less than me and those with more. I justify the nalgene with my core commitment not to buy bottled water. Just think 8 bucks is only 4 bottles of water. I am saving lots of money and wasting far less plastic. Some of my shopping is out of pleasure. It feels good to buy things. Not sure why this is? I know I like new clothes, partly because of creativity and feeling different. Partly because when I feel good in my physical body, it's more likely I will be having a great day. Lastly, I shop for others. But I do ponder how many of these gifts are truly treasured/wanted by the receiver. With Christmas a few days away, I am remembering it is just as graceful to receive as to give. On the other extreme, I could use my wealth to buylocal, fair trade items. But something about that and even about buying organic food, makes me feel a bit like I am deserting the poor. Not just the poor in other countries, but the poor I know here in Philly as my patients and neighbors. It seems that shopping and living in this new organic, fair trade, free range, grass fed, local way is very wealthy privileged way to live. And I am attempting to move down the social structure not up. I want to somehow be closer the 90% that I unknowingly and knowingly affect in my lifestyle. Besides, at my very core I am way too "cheap" to spend so much for items I know I can get cheaper. The answer? At least for now? Not buying at all, or buying second hand. I won't have contributed (as much) to the wasted natural recources in making a new item, nor the low wages of those that made it. And maybe I will be giving money to a cause, ie thrift stores linked to non profits, that actually helps someone. Or better yet, maybe repairing, reusing, something that is in my own house already. I am not a guilty person. I don't believe in feeling miserable or guilty about being wealthy. Nor is that my goal in this commitment in 2014 for myself or anyone reading this. The idea started as just not buying any new clothes for myself (because of this NPR interview.) But then I realized how in setting a broader boundary on buying maybe a really beautiful experience for me. I mean, I could really find most things I need in my house (somewhere.) AND our basement really does need cleaned out. So, I commit here in to buy nothing new in 2014. This excludes all usuable goods, food, drink, tape (Nori goes thru a roll a week), tolietries. It feels a bit like when I became a vegetarian and didn't really like meat to start with. I don't love shopping or new things. This is simply a boundary to help me live the way I want to and hopefully learn something. I don't consider it a huge sacrifice, more of an experiment that I may share thoughts on here in this blog. Consider this your warning if you usually get a birthday gift from me:) Okay I will end here, I have to go browse online for my new running shoes, only have 7 days until 2014. Seriously. I am wealthy enough to want to avoid foot fungus.